Something odd happened to me today. I was walking to class. Up ahead I saw two people canvassing. I knew who they were, because people just like them had been standing in the same spot on behalf of the same organization everyday for the last month. They were there for HRC or the Human Rights Campaign or the By Human Rights We Mean Gay Rights Campaign. "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" they say when someone walks by.
"I actually just re-upped my HRC membership," I have said every time someone has asked. It's a lie, of course. I haven't had an HRC membership in years. When I did have one, it was unintentional. I bought a watch from the HRC catalog, and the next thing I knew, I was getting monthly newsletters. I've been meaning to renew my membership. Truly I have. It's just that, do you know how many Ramen Noodles you can buy with $50?
As I continued walking toward the canvasser, I was sure to make eye-contact with him. Certainly he'll recognize me in all my transparently homosexual glory, I thought. Then I can make his day 1) by knowing exactly what he's getting after and already knowing about HRC and 2) being enlightened enough and compassionate enough to already have a membership.
It all happened so quickly, I'm not sure I can adequately describe the experience. I walked past the man and veered to the right. At the same time, a blatantly straight girl walked past him and veered to the left. I'm not saying this girl was actively participating in heterosexual activities (like sex with a man, for example) as she walked by. I'm just saying that if you put the two of us in a line-up, 10 out of 10 people would pick me out as the 'mo'. "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" he said to the straight girl. To the straight girl?
The way I see it, there are a couple explanations:
1. The canvasser was a breeder with bad gaydar.
2. The canvasser was a breeder with perfectly fine gaydar but was very much interested in
talking to this cute, straight girl, so that he could potentially engage in breeder-type
activities (like sex with a woman, for example).
3. I don't represent myself nearly as gay-ly as I think I do. Note to self: wear more flannel.
In any case, I feel discriminated against. I have just as much a right to lie to a do-gooder in an effort to make myself feel better about myself as anyone else does. Maybe it's time to invest in a new watch.
"I actually just re-upped my HRC membership," I have said every time someone has asked. It's a lie, of course. I haven't had an HRC membership in years. When I did have one, it was unintentional. I bought a watch from the HRC catalog, and the next thing I knew, I was getting monthly newsletters. I've been meaning to renew my membership. Truly I have. It's just that, do you know how many Ramen Noodles you can buy with $50?
As I continued walking toward the canvasser, I was sure to make eye-contact with him. Certainly he'll recognize me in all my transparently homosexual glory, I thought. Then I can make his day 1) by knowing exactly what he's getting after and already knowing about HRC and 2) being enlightened enough and compassionate enough to already have a membership.
It all happened so quickly, I'm not sure I can adequately describe the experience. I walked past the man and veered to the right. At the same time, a blatantly straight girl walked past him and veered to the left. I'm not saying this girl was actively participating in heterosexual activities (like sex with a man, for example) as she walked by. I'm just saying that if you put the two of us in a line-up, 10 out of 10 people would pick me out as the 'mo'. "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" he said to the straight girl. To the straight girl?
The way I see it, there are a couple explanations:
1. The canvasser was a breeder with bad gaydar.
2. The canvasser was a breeder with perfectly fine gaydar but was very much interested in
talking to this cute, straight girl, so that he could potentially engage in breeder-type
activities (like sex with a woman, for example).
3. I don't represent myself nearly as gay-ly as I think I do. Note to self: wear more flannel.
In any case, I feel discriminated against. I have just as much a right to lie to a do-gooder in an effort to make myself feel better about myself as anyone else does. Maybe it's time to invest in a new watch.
1 comment:
I'm stealing your HRC line. Haha, and nobody can ever wear too much flannel.
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